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My guess is that a guy can be as fat, black, Jewish and pagan as he wants to be, smell like expired patchouli toothpaste, and get around on a Rascal scooter and still be accepted into such a group...if he's got $$$$$ (beaucoup). The women, OTOH, must look good in a lucite display case, and weigh about as much, because that's where they're going to be spending most of their time. And we should feel bad about these people NOT accepting us? Ever hear the expression, "Rejection is protection"?

Quick question, then-would the dating service have accepted her if she was filthy rich? I'm sure there are plenty of men in this 'enlightened' age who are just as interested in pair bonding for money instead of looking for a trophy wife.

Too busy to meet new people and tired of the bar scene, Traynor, 39, turned to LunchDates.com to meet someone. A personal chef by profession... Actually, I'd have thought that being a chef would be considered cool. I can easily imagine a rich guy wanting to date a curvy woman who cooks professionally. Aside from the possibility of getting great food on a regular basis, it's a time-flexible and portable profession that would make for good cocktail party conversation.

What I'm wondering about this is a) Did he shut her out on the basis of hearing/reading her weight, which as a number means less than nothing, without seeing her? b) Would all the men who use the site so definitely not be interested in a woman who was not a size 6, or is the owner of the site himself so prejudiced that he simply refused pointblank to sign her up without considering whether there might indeed be men who might find her attractive?

hmmm....having very recently been doing the online dating thing quite a lot etc., I have a different take on this... Now, assuming that it is ok to set up such dating services catering exclusively to rich people who want to hook up with the "beautiful" people (not my cup of tea but we do live in a free market blah de blah de blah...), then I almost think that what they did might even be the considerate thing to do(though I am sure they did it purely out of business motivations)... If you go online and search for reviews of matching/dating sites, you will see that the obnoxious truth is (something I have found out by bitter experience) many many men get very very resentful when they end up on a date with a woman over 150lbs (assuming you are anywhere between 5'0"-5'8")-and I think about 160 over that height... And slam the dating site...Obviously from a business pov that hurts them You can see them spew their venom on these review sites...and even from friends who are much smaller than me I hear this all the time..so its not even that they(the men) don't have an idea of the numbers..I have a friend who is 5'4" and 140lbs, who has been rejected by 4 guys (!!!) because the "physical chemistry" wasn't there due to her being "overweight"..... I see this as part of the overall problem with the way men are being tuned -I am honestly starting to believe this-now by society to think they are abnormal if they don't all like a 110lb girl.... And while putting up a profile or contacting other members (unless you are on a BBW site) there are many many men, who seem like nice people (not even the shallow jerk type guys) and even seem to be nice when you talk to them on the phone/over IM, who *just* will NOT consider-hell forget someone who is fat- someone who is not very small-medium, with respect to body type.. I agree with Andee Joyce..at least they didn't take her money and then have her meet a parade of jerks..sort of thing that just batters your self-esteem.. There are certainly plenty of nice men out there-but I am starting to think that they don't make their way to these dating sites...;0 Sorry about the overly long rant...

Wicked, I'm right there with you. I've had some horrible experiences with online dating sites, even with guys who insisted they liked BBW women... apparently just not as "B" as me. :P Even eHarmony, which is all, "we match your personality! (and charge you $50 a month)" had more than its share of guys who were actively avoiding overweight women--they were just more subtle about it. And don't get me started on BBW dating sites. No offense to anyone who enjoys them, but the prevalance of chatspeak, unreadable grammar, and guys and/or couples looking only for "discreet" sex is entirely too discouraging to me. I'm done with dating sites and services. If Prince or Princess Charming is meant to be, I'll find 'em.

I also how love men say in their profiles that they're looking for a woman who is "fit", "active" and/or "in shape" as a euphemism for "no fat chicks." I'm 5'3" and weigh 138 pounds, wear a size 10, work out 4 times a week and am open to trying pretty much any outdoor or indoor activity with a guy I'm dating. I'm definitely fit, active and in shape, but that's not really what they're interested in, is it? Fact is that a woman of my height could be anywhere from 100 pounds to over 200 pounds and still be fit, active and in shape, but if she doesn't fit the stereotypical gym bunny body type, they ain't interested. In my personal case, there's a lot of men who would just hear the number 138 and run screaming the other way despite what I actually might look like, which is curvy and strong. I think lots of men, especially fat phobic ones, have really warped ideas of what certain weights and numbers actually look like on real women anyway.

What strikes me about this particular company (other than their appalling discrimination on the basis of size) is they purport to be a dating service for both men and women... and yet, as you read their FAQs etc, you really see that they are not a service into helping women find their future partners. Oh, no. Women are the commodity. I mean, they may pay, but everyone REALLY knows that it's the male clients who count.